On the brink of an epic meltdown

Seriously.

See my mind has this coping mechanism, when things are too stressful, I just block them out. Literally, just gone. "What do you mean you told me a month ago, I have no recollection of any such conversation!"

For example. It was brought to my attention today, that come next week, I'm looking at either taking a significant pay cut, or losing my job altogether. Oh yeah, because I can just barely scrape by at the moment, of course LESS money will be fantastic.

And lets not forget the impending deadline. I have 3 months before I have nowhere to keep my horses unless we get a property in time. Know what that means if we don't find somewhere? That's right. I'd have to sell them. Coz I already lose Jace for 4 weeks at a time, have no money, have shit neighbours and a lot of crap people in my life. Why not take away the horses who are the only thing making me get out of bed while Jace is away.

Seriously. So. Fucking. Over. Stress.

I apologise profusely for the depressing tone of this post, I need to vent. Now I'm going to go curl up somewhere and lose my mind. Thanks for listening.

All Good Things Must Come To An End

And unfortunately, that includes the absolutely amazing 2 weeks that I got to have Jace at home for. He flew out this morning for another 4 week stint away. Seriously, whoever invented Fly In - Fly Out jobs needs to lose some important body parts. I just settle in to having my man home and he gets taken away all over again. I still cry everytime he leaves. Not to sound like a tantrum throwing child or anything, but, ITS NOT FAIR!!

I am, however, quite excited about the turn things have taken in the last 2 weeks. We are now officially on the hunt for our very own property. Not a rental like was originally planned. Nope. The whole she-bang. We are going to buy our very own slice of rural life, build a house and finally have my horses in the backyard! Woot!! We found a beautiful place, not far from where we live now that was already set up for horses, but unfortunately the asking price just for the land was more than the bank was willing to give us. Sad face. All hope is not lost though as we have found some massive lots quite cheap, meaning we could buy, build and have money left over to set it up for my horsies. Happy face.

On a completely bizarre random note, I have also informed Jace that when we have said property, I want a donkey and a goat as pets. I seriously think they are just the cutest things ever and I mean really who wants a "garden" anyway. I'm sure as hell not gunna look after it. I'm gunna let my damn goat eat it! This, however, means that we will probably have to look in to starting a zoo. Seeing as we already have 3 dogs and 8 horses. Add to that the donkey and the goat, the farm dog that I have promised Jace he can have when we have a property and the cat we both really want, but aren't allowed to have while renting. That puts us with a grand total of 15 animals under our care. Uh oh. Can you say menagerie?

Seeing as the world does not in fact revolve around me and my life (unfortunately, I'm sure that would make some things far easier!), I should perhaps mention that I am aware that a quite significant event occurred in my country today. Of course I am talking about Kevin Rudd's less than dignified ousting from parliament and his being replace by the country's first female Prime Minister, Julia Gillard. I may be absolutely flamed for this, but I personally say Good Fucking Riddance to Mister Rudd. I'm interested to see what Gillard can do. And I am much happier with this outcome, than letting Rudd flounder some more in office waiting for the next election.

Hmmm, that was the first semi-important topic this blog has touched on. There could be hope for me yet I guess. Although this next statement will probably ruin some of that. So I will whisper/yell it.  ECLIPSE COMES OUT IN 7 DAYS!! See by whisper/yell I meant that I would make you strain to read it by making it small, but then make your brain want to cover its little ears when it found the caps! Although unfortunately, upon previewing this blog I discovered that font size "smallest" is in fact not really all that small. But really. I'm excited.

Anywhosit. I'm quite tired and I do in fact have to work tomorrow, so I might bail out for now. Going to curl up in my cold, Jaceless bed with my dogs and my donkey (not a real one! I may have possibly forced my mother in to buying me a decent sized stuffed toy of donkey from Shrek today. He will be my Jace while Jace is away. Not like that you sick fuck.)

Just something to pass the time...

...while I try and find the motivation to write an actual blog full of original thoughts. 
I stole this from Liv who stole it from someone else, so here goes...(get ready to be amazed at the dullness of my life)


BOLD what you have done in life.
1. started your own blog

2. slept under the stars

3. played in a band

4. visited Hawaii

5. watched a meteor shower

6. given more to charity than you could afford to 

7. been to Disney 

8. climbed a mountain

9. held a praying mantis

10. sung a solo 

11. bungee jumped

12. visited Paris 

13. watched a thunder and lightning storm

14. taught yourself an art from scratch

15. adopted a child

16. had food poisoning

17. walked to the top of the statue of liberty 

18. grown your own vegetables

19. seen the Mona Lisa in France 

20. slept on an overnight train 

21. had a pillow fight 

22. hitch hiked

23. taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. built a snow fort

25. held a lamb 

26. gone skinny dipping

27. run a marathon 

28. ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. seen a total eclipse

30. watched a sunrise or sunset 

31. hit a home run

32. been on a cruise 

33. seen Niagara falls in person

34. visited the birthplace of your ancestors (well, one side of the family!)

35. seen an Amish community

36. taught yourself a new language - I started to at least

37. had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. seen the leaning tower of Pisa in person

39. gone rock climbing 

40. seen Michelangelo’s David in person 

41. sung karaoke

42. seen old faithful erupt

43. bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant 

44. visited Africa

45. walked on a beach by moonlight

46. been transported in an ambulance 

47. had your portrait painted

48. gone deep sea fishing

49. seen the Sistine chapel in person

50. been to the top of the Eiffel tower in Paris

51. gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. kissed in the rain 

53. played in the mud

54. gone to a drive-in theatre 

55. been in a movie

56. visited the great wall of china

57. started a business

58. taken a martial arts class 

59. visited Russia

60. served at a soup kitchen

61. sold girl scout cookies

62. gone whale watching

63. gotten flowers for no reason 

64. donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. been sky diving

66. visited a concentration camp

67. bounced a check

68. flown in a helicopter

69. saved a favorite childhood toy

70. visited the Lincoln memorial

71. eaten caviar

72. pieced a quilt

73. stood in times square 

74. toured the everglades

75. been fired from a job

76. seen the changing of the guard in London 

77. broken a bone

78. been a passenger on a motorcycle 

79. seen the grand canyon in person

80. published a book

81. visited the Vatican 

82. bought a brand new car

83. walked in Jerusalem

84. had your picture in the newspaper 

85. kissed a stranger at midnight on new year’s eve

86. visited the white house

87. killed and prepared an animal for eating - lobsters and crabs count?

88. had chickenpox 

89. saved someone’s life

90. sat on a jury

91. met someone famous 

92. joined a book club

93. gotten a tattoo 

94. had a baby

95. seen the Alamo in person 

96. swam in the great salt lake

97. been involved in a law suit

98. owned a cell phone

99. been stung by a bee

100. Ridden an elephant 
  
29/100 


Yeahhhh I'm THAT exciting

I didn't forget you...

I was just basking in the glory of having my boyfriend at home! Seriously. That good. AND I have a whole nother week of it too! YEAH!

Now that that's off my chest lets see if I can turn this in to a blog worth reading. No promises, I'm pretty distracted right now. Not really sure why, just scatter brained.

Any who. I haven't done a whole lot of much lately, just basking as I said above. I've been to work, I've fed my horses, I've discovered proud flesh on my Rexy's leg. Stupid horse. Got himself kicked in the leg! So now I am engaged in a desperate struggle to keep it clean and slathered in antibacterial stuff, because thanks to the wonders of accident and illness prone horses, I REALLY can not afford any more vet bills.

Yeah, my horses like to cost me money. Lots and lots of money. You wanna know how? Try this on for size. My beautiful little pony Nippa. He managed to cut the dock of his tail (the bit that is actually bone and muscle and veins, not just hair). I had the vet out and he said it didn't look too bad, keep it clean and put him through a course of antibiotics. So that's what I did. Halfway through his antibiotics, I go out there and ya wanna know what I found? His tail. On the ground. Completely detached from his body. Awesome. The cut actually severed a pretty important artery. No blood flow to the bottom of his dock = dead dock. It fell off. Not pretty, incredibly distressing and $300.00 vet bill.

Then of course there is my big beautiful thoroughbred Hugo. He decided that right in the middle of the Nippa's tail drama was the perfect time to go down with colic. Not just mildly upset tummy colic either. Full blown, impacted gut, life threatening colic. Having the vet come out and shake his head and say "it's really bad" was so heart wrenching and being confronted with the possibility of losing a horse that I had fought to get a hold of in the first place was so painful, I can't even put it in to words. Spent that night out the paddock keeping him moving, trying to get everything moving through his system again until eventually, 4 days later and another vet visit he got the ok to rejoin his paddock buddies. Not without damage though, he lost so much weight over those 5 days, he's only just now starting to round out again. Thank god for Jace and my mum. I never would have got through the whole ordeal without them. And at the end of it, a $500 vet bill.

On a completely different note. Grace is home too! YAY! She's such a crazy kid. The complete opposite of me in many ways, but the perfect match when I need to have a bit of a spastic moment. We've already had some great times and she's only been home 2 weeks.

Anyway, I think I am done rambling for now, although I will leave you again with photos of the horses mentioned in this post.

Poor Rex's leg


Beautiful Hugo, just after his ordeal



Hugo now


Nippa and his stumpy tail

What a weekend!

Just a note, this was written up yesterday. So where it says yesterday it actually occurred 2 days ago. I'm still recovering. Fucking horses!

Sometimes I think my horses truly and honestly get kicks out of scaring the absolute living daylights out of me!

Yesterday I took a friend out to the paddock to meet the horses and go for a bit of a ride. She's been living on the other side of the country for a few years and hasn't had a chance to ride in a very long time. Anyway, she got to ride a couple of horses so she was stoked.

We were wandering down the alleyway taking Fanta back to her paddock, chatting merrily, when I looked up and noticed my paddock appeared to be 2 horses short. We finished the trek up there and I did a proper head count, sure enough, no sign of Trojan or Kody. 

Of course at this point my heart is racing a hundred miles an hour, as I was scouring the paddock, checking fence lines for horses trapped in fences, checking the ground for horses down and not getting up. Nothing. 

We trudged up the paddock and I spotted it. Right up the very back corner. Fence down. Little devils. That fence borders on to state bushland. Awesome. 

I started franticly calling their names. Surprisingly, I got answers. From total opposite directions. Even better. I continued to call and Kody popped out from behind the trees in one of the neigbouring properties paddocks. Thank God. We opened up their back gate and let him back in to his own paddock, locked up their gate again and turned around to search the other paddocks for Trojan.

At this point I was calling for Tj and receiving an answer each time. Unfortunately each answer was sounding more and more panicked. He was not at all impressed with having found himself separated from Kody and all his other buddies. 

I looked up the top of the hill, just in time to see a black blur go hurtling along the crest of the hill. Probably, half a kilometre away and on somebody else's property again. 

Luckily at this point my cousin had driven up the paddock to see why we hadn't come back down to the sheds yet. So we jumped in her car and she drove us up the top of the hill, to the end of our property. We got out and started trudging through the bush calling again.

Eventually we found him. Drenched in sweat, nostrils flared, clearly freaked out! We took our time and got him to settle enough to get him haltered and began the loooong walk back to his paddock.

After an eventful walk back, due to poor Trojan being completely and utterly freaked out of his mind, spooking all over the place, we stopped him outside the gate of his paddock and checked him over. His legs are a bit scratched up, nothing serious though. Most of the damage was done to his hooves, they have several large chips out of them and a lot of smaller ones too. 

So there you have it. The story of my weekend. Believe me when I say I hope that I never have to deal with that stress again! The fence is fixed and reinforced now and they've managed to stay out of trouble for a whole 24 hours now. Here's hoping!

Musings

So far so good, I haven't abandoned blogging yet.

I must say the whole business is quite intriguing. It seems that having a blog allows for expressing things that may not otherwise have the opportunity to be expressed. Or in my case, simply to ramble without Jace having to pretend he has any idea what I am on about. It certainly seems that technology is taking over. And I am certainly not immune facebook, forums, blogging. I guess I just like to interact.

On the subject of facebook. I'm a bit of a creeper. Yeah I said it. I like to skulk around and look at the profiles and photos of friends, acquaintances, perfect strangers, pretty much anyone who hasn't set their profile to private to keep weirdos like me away.

It does amuse me though that facebook (even myspace back in its day) has given everyone the chance to be self important. Again I am certainly not trying to look down on the practice as I regularly engage in it. What's better than posting a random, possibly slightly witty status update and pretending that everyone who happens to read it actually cares? I know most people probably don't even register mine, but I tend to have that effect in most situations.

What I mean is that I tend to try and blend whenever possible. Alcohol is not particularly conducive to this habit though. I tend to get loud and probably somewhat annoying and obnoxious with a few drinks under my belt. There are certain occasions that stick out in my mind, although I probably shouldn't share them. Oh and I still have to laugh to this day about having to violently vomit out the car window while heading home from a night out with some friends. Thanks for the bottle of vodka, Liv!

On the subject of friends. Exciting news. It seems that my fantastic, crazy, ridiculously awesome best friend is coming home! She has been living on the other side of the country for 4 or 5 years now and has only visited twice (LAZY, haha). However, she's not in the best of circumstances at the moment and has made the decision to pack up and fly home. While I am not at all happy that she's not happy (and to the certain person who made her that way, you better hope I never ever meet you!), I am very happy that she is coming home. Perhaps we will have more crazy nights like those we had years ago. Old school tunes and daggy pjs!

Anyway, I think my brain has shut off for the night and is refusing to think of anything even remotely interesting to write so I will leave you with a photo from today. She may be pregnant, but she's still fiery